Find SAFE People

FIND YOUR PEOPLE.  I’d like to tweak that a little… FIND SAFE PEOPLE. The somewhat tongue in cheek descriptions of “your people” are folks who will help you move or pick you up from the airport. Those are certainly helpful things to have friends for, but what we really need is a safe person. This isn't necessarily the person who will drop everything to come help you. A safe person can quite literally calm your nervous system just by their presence. You can exhale!

We were made for connection, and we long for people who don't make us feel stressed, guarded, or on edge. We feel regulated and in our Window of Tolerance just by the presence of a safe person. Our body settles down at least a little and we can breathe. That is because a safe person can literally help you co-regulate. 

A regulated person can profoundly affect a group dynamic and  In a one-on-one situation they can create felt safety. That safety becomes space for you to grow, heal, and just be. Safe people make life so much richer and healing so much more possible. We heal best in connection with safe people. 

You may be thinking that you don't know how to pick out a safe person. I understand that, especially if you have a background in trauma or abuse. Your track record of picking safe people may have some gaps. ;)  Ask God to show you the safe people in your life. Think if there is anyone who helps you feel calm just by their presence. If no one comes to mind, ask God to provide someone. A skilled professional can be an excellent resource of safety. If I can be a resource on your journey, please contact me.